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Here are some quotes I thought were funny:

"Todays victors aren't named victor at all....its Dave and Ehren" Brandon Dicamillo

"Who are you? Your not eddie! I call police on you...eddie and no named friend"~Dimitry

"I have to be horrible at everything or else it wouldn't be me"~Ryan Dunn

"He broke his tail bone..we dont have tails anymore so whats the purpose have having one?" Ryan Dunn

"As you can see key finger placement was the key to their bowling accuracy"~Brandon Dicamillo

"And today good sirs, I will stick my lance far beyond where the light of our world shines, deep into the colon of the enemy."
Brandon Dicamillo, BMX Jousting

"Oh baby, Oh baby, Oh baby.."
-Johnny Knoxville, Daddy and Baby 2

"I don't mean to toot my own horn but, BEEP BEEP!"
-Dave England, Urban Kayaking

"I feel like kicking my dad's ass, all day today!"
-Bam Margera, Dad Beater

"I was awash in a sea of poo."
-Johnny Knoxville, Poo Cocktail

"One day I was like like *BEEP!* oops, I mean crap."
-Dave England, Urban Kayaking

"Ho Ho Holy Shit!"
-Johnny Knoxville, Colonic

"Ow, my head hurts. I hate cell phones."
-Dave England, Cell Phone

"I'm not into beastiality, but that's a good looking animal."
-Chris Pontius, Aligatorama